(I deleted most everything I had here. It’s safe enough now.)
I’m going to Michigan in July. My sister is getting married. I’m using that as a reason to push forward right now. I’ll get to see my twinn and spend 2 whole weeks with her. I’ll get to see my best friends. I’ll try and con Keith into paying for Chinese, haha. I’m going with b to Warped Tour for the first time, and we’re going to see Yellowcard together. Such a brilliant band. These are happy things; these are things to look forward to.
On a completely different note, I’ve been trying and trying to find femdom books to read that look interesting. I’ve found one I really liked (Natural Law by Joey W. Hill), and started another (Still by Ann Mayburn), and there’s a third that has my curiosity insanely piqued, but I haven’t bought it, but I’m thinking of caving in and just getting it because how the fuck does it work, I mean, seriously (Deliver by Pam Godwin). If I told you what I know of this book, you would be looking at me going, “How the fuck does that become a love story?” the same way I’m looking at the goddamn author wondering the same fucking thing. How is that shit supposed to even work!? (What I wouldn’t give for an interrobang key. Shut up, spell checker, that is a real word.) I am so fucking tempted to just buy it already and sate my curiosity. (EDIT: I gave in and bought the bloody book. Seriously, how the shit is this supposed to even work!?)
Anyone know any good femdom books I could read?
I could say I’m sorry for all of the Once Upon A Time spam, but I honestly wouldn’t mean it. So… sorry for not being sorry?
Although, I need to find more Once Upon A Time blogs. I’ll still blog about whatever I feel like, of course. Merlin, depression, Fall Out Boy, whatever. But right now, I want to see pretty pictures from the show. If it bothers you overmuch, please unfollow. I won’t be offended.
But, anyway, I need to get back to working on my story for Nanowrimo, so that’s probably all the Once blogging I’m going to get to do tonight.
Too Long; Didn’t Read: I have issues. No shit. Fuck off.
Sometimes I hate that I feel unable to talk about this stuff out loud until it’s too late.
It’s my fault I can’t. I don’t know if I know how. I bottle things. I don’t know how to try and get past this blockage in my brain.
I know I am at fault in this. I know I should probably try to change it. I just… I’m stupid, I guess. I just don’t know how.
Sometimes I honestly think I don’t deserve to be happy and that every misery placed upon me is well deserved. And I don’t know how to change that feeling, or if I even should.