Sometimes I feel like this song describes me when it comes to being bipolar.

Frollo and Quasimodo agreeing with him is the depression and mania and their mix that I can’t outrun. Out there is “normalcy,” it’s lack of suffering, it’s a real and true day of feeling real and not pretend. I’ve always identified with this song, and it’s probably because I relate so strongly to Quasimodo during this. Especially when he’s echoing Frollo, “I am deformed and I am ugly…" and then, "I am a monster. Only a monster." It just resonates with me. I will always sing along.

The lyrics, for those who don’t wish to listen:

"Out There" from Disney’s "The Hunchback of Notre Dame"

Frollo:
The world is cruel
The world is wicked
It’s I alone whom you can trust in this whole city
I am your only friend
I who keep you, teach you, feed you, dress you
I who look upon you without fear
How can I protect you, boy, unless you
Always stay in here
Away in here
Remember what I taught you, Quasimodo
You are deformed

Quasimodo:
I am deformed

Frollo:
And you are ugly

Quasimodo:
And I am ugly

Frollo:
And these are crimes
For which the world
Shows little pity
You do not comprehend

Quasimodo:
You are my one defender

Frollo:
Out there they’ll revile you
As a monster

Quasimodo:
I am a monster

Frollo:
Out there they will hate
And scorn and jeer

Quasimodo:
Only a monster

Frollo:
Why invite their calumny
And consternation?
Stay in here
Be faithful to me

Quasimodo:
I’m faithful

Frollo:
Grateful to me

Quasimodo:
I’m grateful

Frollo:
Do as I say
Obey
And stay
In here

Quasimodo:
I’ll stay
In here

Quasimodo:
Safe behind these windows and these parapets of stone
Gazing at the people down below me
All my life I watch them as I hide up here alone
Hungry for the histories they show me
All my life I memorize their faces
Knowing them as they will never know me
All my life I wonder how it feels to pass a day
Not above them
But part of them

And out there
Living in the sun
Give me one day out there
All I ask is one
To hold forever

Out there
Where they all live unaware
What I’d give
What I’d dare
Just to live one day out there

Out there among the millers and the weavers and their wives
Through the roofs and gables I can see them
Ev’ry day they shout and scold and go about their lives
Heedless of the gift it is to be them
If I was in their skin
I’d treasure ev’ry instant

Out there
Strolling by the Seine
Taste a morning out there
Like ordinary men
Who freely walk about there
Just one day and then
I swear I’ll be content
With my share
Won’t resent
Won’t despair
Old and bent
I won’t care
I’ll have spent
One day
Out there

Marbles are slipping, slipping, slipping.

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Yeah, but I know I have bipolar disorder, which is a lifelong disease. I am sick. There is no cure. There can be treatment. There will be good days. There will be bad days.
There will be days when the mania and I are the best of friends and I will be on top of the world. I will still be sick. There will be days when I am in the darkest emotional pit I can ever remember having and want only for it to end. I will still be sick. There will be days when they are mixed, and I’m depressed while my mind races with possibilities and what feels like madness. I will still be sick.
Even though you can’t see it, and I can only see it in the scars in my skin, I will still be sick, whether it ever feels easier or not.

Yeah, but I know I have bipolar disorder, which is a lifelong disease. I am sick. There is no cure. There can be treatment. There will be good days. There will be bad days.

There will be days when the mania and I are the best of friends and I will be on top of the world. I will still be sick. There will be days when I am in the darkest emotional pit I can ever remember having and want only for it to end. I will still be sick. There will be days when they are mixed, and I’m depressed while my mind races with possibilities and what feels like madness. I will still be sick.

Even though you can’t see it, and I can only see it in the scars in my skin, I will still be sick, whether it ever feels easier or not.

(via ill-at-ease)